


Saying it

by JustAnotherSamlicker



Series: 'Communication' [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Building Heaven, Cas's perspective, Companion Piece, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Of course Jack saved Cas, praying it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:21:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29083062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnotherSamlicker/pseuds/JustAnotherSamlicker
Summary: After Jack brought Castiel back, the angel had been waiting for Dean to respond to his confession. But he didn't get a response whatsoever. Dean seemed happy to act as if nothing had happened, which in itself was an answer as well.Well not exactly nothing. Apparently the confession had stirred up enough to make Dean want to move out. Dean did ask Castiel for help fixing up his new house, wanting to know how Cas liked every single detail. That had to mean he still wanted the angel in his life in some way, right..?This is a companion piece to 'praying it', you don't need to read one to understand the other. The story is the same but 'Praying it' is written from Dean's perspective.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Series: 'Communication' [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2133753
Comments: 11
Kudos: 72





	Saying it

**Author's Note:**

> This is the same story as 'Praying it' but written from Castiel's perspective.

Castiel could still see the way Dean had looked at him, tears in his eyes, begging him not to do this. Begging to not tell Dean he loved him. That was all Dean answered before the Empty pulled Castiel from his moment of true happiness and plunged him into a deep dark sleep. 

Castiel was okay with that, with having given his life in order to save his world, in order to save Dean. 

But then Jack safed him, like a light pulling him from the darkness. Suddenly the world was changed. Chuck was no longer in charge, Jack ruled heaven and earth and heaven got back to its purpose. Castiel knew all those things should matter more, but all he could think about was that now he had to face Dean. There was no way for Dean to ignore a statement as big as that. Or at least, so Cas thought.   
He hadn't expected and answer straight away when he walked into the bunker, surprising the brothers that hugged him tight. But even as days past, there seemed to be no recognation that he had said anything at all. 

He would have prefered to just hear Dean say he didn't love him back if that was how the hunter felt. That meant they could talk about it, move past it even. Dean didn't afford him that and Castiel tried not to blame him. Dean had never been one to talk about his feelings unless it was forced out of him. And even if he didn't love Cas back like that, Castiel knew the hunter didn't want to hurt him. He didn't force Dean to talk about it, to reject him and hurt them both. Instead, he let Dean pretend like there wasn't anything unsaid between them.

Castiel spend most of his time in heaven, helping Jack cope with his new responsibilities and helping him clean up the mess Chuck left behind. It took an effort to be in heaven, let alone be useful there. As Jack tried to resurrect and create more angels to strengthen heaven in the long term, in the short term it took a toll on the grace of the angels helping him. 

Although Castiel wanted to help as much as he could, he had to go back to earth to recharge. He also wanted to go back and look after Dean. After everything that happened, Sam and Eileen had moved in together pretty quickly. Dean said he was happy for Sam, and Castiel believed him. But he couldn't help but feel like Dean was growing lonely, staying in the bunker by himself. 

It was clear that, even if Dean didn't feel the same way, he still liked having Cas around. Cas could feel it from the very first moment he walked through the door every time he returned from heaven. They had a sort of routine build up. Cas would stop for pie before heading to the bunker. As soon as Dean saw him, the hunter pulled him into a hug and asked if he wanted a beer. 

He would grab the beers in the kitchen and yell from there that Cas had been gone long, no matter how many days he had spend in heaven. Castiel sometimes wondered why Dean always waited until he was in another room, before saying something like that. 

Dean smiled at him all night as they talked about Castiel's work in heaven or Dean's hunts. It was hard to crush that flicker of hope that still plagued Cas's mind. He had always felt it, whenever Dean put a hand on his shoulder or laughed at Cas's attempts at joking. Castiel never let himself ignore those feelings of hope or joy before, but now he knew those were nothing more than acts of kinship, not romantic love.

He had seen how Dean had acted around people he found attractive or that he considered as a potential partner. A hand on the shoulder or a clasp to the back usually didn't cut it. He had to face facts, Dean would go on with his life, finds someone he _did_ love and grow old with them. Castiel just hoped he would still be a part of Dean's life after that. It was better to suppress any feelings of hope or love down completely and deal with them alone. His brain would catch up eventually and move on as well. At least, that's what he hoped. 

About two months after Jack saved the angel, Castiel returned to the bunker like he usually did, with pie in hand. Their ritual started and Dean talked about a nest of vampires he had killed. Half way through the story Dean realized that he had made plans to go to Sam and Eileen's place for dinner. He sent his brother a text, apologizing for being late and informing him Cas was coming along. 

Cas liked the drive, it reminded him of long roads where he got to watch Dean's face in the flashes of the streetlights they passed. Those moments where life seemed so focused on surviving and saving the world, that non of the doubt or confusion over his feelings plagued Cas. Just seeing Dean alive was enough. 

When Dean slowed down a little Castiel first thought they had arrived, but one look told him they weren't at Eileen's house yet. Castiel followed the hunters gaze, noticing the unkept house and overgrown front garden. "What do you think about something like that?" 

Castiel looked at the house again. Dean had never really been one to care about the street view, so it had to be about something else. "It needs a lot of care, don't you think?" Castiel said, watching the hunters face as he did. He wasn't sure what sort of reaction Dean expected of him. 

Apparently he was spot on with his response, since Dean's excitement grew. "Yeah, but I like that sort of stuff. It's fulfilling to live in a house you practically built."

Oh. 

Castiel hadn't seen the 'for sale' sign behind the overgrow bush, but now it was glaring at him.

"You... You want to live here?" Castiel asked, slightly confused as he looked at the house in the rearview. So Dean was planning to move out... He should have seen it coming, but he had tried to ignore the reality of it for so long. There was no reason for Dean to stay in the bunker with Cas, not if he wanted to move on with a new life.

"I mean not that house in particular, but you know." Dean seemed to realize it was hard for Castiel to watch him leave, why else would he ask his opinion at all. Cas smiled, trying to look as supportive as possible as Dean continued. "It seems like an okay neighbourhood, and it's close to Sam and Eileen."

Castiel nodded, looking at the house again. "That is true. It looks like it has a nice garden as well." He admitted, trying to match some of Dean's excitement. He could see relieve wash over Dean. "No you're right. I like it. Most houses here are kept up pretty well. If you want to work on the house yourself, it seems like this is the best choice." 

It was about three days later when Dean asked Castiel if he should make a bit. Castiel had hoped it would have taken Dean longer to make the actual ,ove, but it was true that he wasn't going to find a house like that in Sam's neighbourhood any time soon. He told the hunter it was a great a idea and tried to ignore the sting. 

Castiel went back up to heaven the following day, He stayed for only three days before he needed to get back down. Not just to recharge, he also wanted to spend some more time with Dean in the bunker, now that he knew how limited those moments were. Jack understood why Cas had to go back. Even Though prayers no longer came through, Jack's messages always did. He promised to let Cas know when he needed him again. 

The day after Castiel got back, the bid was accepted and Dean moving out was a reality. Dean invited Sam and Eileen over to celebrate. They told stories about the bunker, like they'd never come back. Maybe that was why Dean kept catching Cas's eyes, smiling at him. To enjoy the last moments, before closing this chapter for good. 

Dean asked for Cas's help on the house and Cas was happy to be involved. His days were tiring and filled with hard work, but everything was making progress. He was either upstairs, rebuilding heaven with Jack, or on earth, building a house with Dean. 

Castiel quite enjoyed working on the house along side the other. Dean talked a bit more easy when his hands were busy laying tiles of fixing plumbing. Cas liked hearing him talk, there was a sort of hapiness in Dean's voice that used to be rare, but now was there almost every day. Dean also seemed to value Castiel's opinion on the house more than he expected, explaining his plans for each room and asking Cas what he thought or what he would want. 

Cas was almost disappointed when Jack asked him to come back for a bigger project. Now that there were more angels that heaven could seep grace from, Castiel would probably be able to stay up there longer. Of course Cas went up to to help, he wanted to be there for Jack, for heaven itself. He was sad to leave for a longer period of time, especially now that the house was so close to being finished. Dean seemed just as disappointed to see Cas leave for more than a few days. It was to be expected. Cas had been helping him every single day he was there. It would really delay the progress to miss him for a few weeks. 

When Cas arrived in heaven, he was surprised to be greeted by Jack talking to Bobby. The old man pulled Cas into a hug, asking straight away how he and the boys were holding up. Apparently Jack had asked Cas back to work on the part of heaven humans went to when they died. Dean hadn't been shy with his opinions on the former system. Apparently Jack wanted to fix the place up before Sam and Dean would go up. Bobby was there to give him advice and an honest opinion and Cas couldn't be happier about who Jack chose to ask for advice.

Bobby was a great help, but it was also nice to be able to talk to him again. He told Bobby about Sam and Eileen moving in together and about Dean buying a house and fixing it up. Bobby smiled proudly.   
"Doesn't he mind you coming up here and leaving him to finish your home?" He asked with a kind-hearted laugh. 

Castiel flushed. "It's not our house. It's just his." He corrected him. "But I have been working on it with him a lot." 

"So, you're not moving in together..?" Bobby repeated, like it was a foreign concept. "I thought the two of you were... Well, something." Bobby said, looking at Jack for back up. The nephlim looked a bit unsure how to respond.

Castiel didn't want to spill the whole confesion and Dean's silence on the matter. He shrugged. "I guess Dean is moving on from the bunker and from hunting. He mentioned finding a job a few times." 

"Moving on from hunting sure. That's good. But moving on from you..." Bobby shook his head. "He is going to regret that one, I tell you." Bobby sounded convinced, but Castiel knew the truth. 

He changed the subject to the plans for heaven and asked Jack what he needed him to do. Jack stayed quiet, as if he didn't want to change the topic away from Dean, but after a smile and a nod from Bobby, Jack started to explain. 

When being in heaven and using his grace to keep it running took to much of a toll, Castiel told Jack and Bobby he needed to go back down. Bobby asked him to take a walk through the heaven they had created so far before he left. As soon as Jack was out of earshot, Bobby turned to him. "I just wanted to thank you, Cas. My boys were up against God himself, and if it weren't for you and the kid, it wasn't a battle they would have won. They'd both be in hell, and trust me, that ain't an easy ride." 

Castiel nodded, he didn't need a thank you for saving his friends, but it was clear Bobby felt like he needed to say it so he let him continue. 

"Now as for the kid, he's got some good brains and a good heart. I might not know the stress of worrying about a kid that is basically god, but I do know as a parent you always worry. This whole paradise business we're building, it seems nice, and I'm going to go for it in the future. For now, I was thinking, how about I stay with the kid for a little, if that's okay with you." 

"Thank you. That means a lot. He's doing really well, but I fear he still needs guidance. I can't always be up here, not until there are enough angels to supply grace all at once."

Bobby hummed as he looked out over the horizon. "Not just that. You deserve to have a life down there as well, with Dean and Sam. The three of you have fought for it, now you get to enjoy it. That don't mean you get to abandon Jack up here, I know you wouldn't. But for when you're down there, just know someone's keeping an eye on him up here." 

Castiel returned to earth with a new found reassurance. He entered the bunker just as Dean came out of the bathroom in only a robe. Castiel couldn't help the flush, but Dean didn't seem bothered by how the angel had caught him. He had expected Dean to make some comment about it before the confession, let alone after he found out how the angel saw him. 

Dean told Cas to hold on for a second so he could get changed, so they could go back to the house. As much as he loved working on the house, he was disappointed that they didn't adhere to their ritual. He was looking forward to telling Dean about Bobby and Jack, and how they were redesigning heaven. Dean told him it would be worth the drive so Cas gave in. As soon as Dean got dressed he led Castiel out to the car, seeming to burst with excitement. Castiel started to wonder what it was he was so happy about. 

When they got to the house, Castiel was surprised to find not much had changed. He looked at Dean who just grinned, pulling up his eyebrows. "You'll see." He assured the angel, urging him to follow as he walked into the house. Cas followed, but nothing had changed inside either. As he was trying to figure out what was going on, he felt Dean step behind him, telling him to close his eyes before he covered them for good measure. The touch was so gentle, but that was why it stung so much. 

He let himself be led outside, trusting the hunter to be his guide. When Dean removed his hands Castiel took it as a que to open his eyes. The sight that met him was astounding. They were halfway through the garden, on a stone path surrounded by the most beautiful array of flowers. The colors that met him almost distracted him from what was at the end of the path. 

In the middle of the flowers, with a small walkway to work, Dean had put a beehive. Castiel had always loved bees and Dean knew that. He looked at him, at a slight loss for words. Maybe Cas's interest had rubbed off on the hunter, or maybe he did it because he knew Cas would enjoy it when he came to visit. Whatever the reason, Cas felt like Dean put it there for him. 

Dean looked at him with expecting eyes and Cas felt a deep urge to kiss him. He pushed the thought away as he tried to form words. "This looks amazing. I didn't expect..." He wasn't sure how to end that. He didn't expect Dean to like bees, he didn't expect Dean to put something in his house that was so influenced by Cas. Castiel smiled instead. "This is great."

"Yeah, you like it?" 

"I like it a lot, Dean. I'm glad you showed me." He assured the other.

"Since you said would it would take you some time to get back, I figured I might as well make use of that. Oh there's more. If you don't mind staying for a little. You can see the lights go on when the sun sets. I can start a fire, get a blanket maybe?"

Castiel could see the way Dean played with the fabric of his shirt. He seemed really proud of the garden and Castiel was touched that his opinion still seemed to matter to Dean. He nodded before exploring the garden some more as the hunter went inside. 

Castiel's eyes followed him until he closed the door behind him, leaving Castiel to stare at the house, wondering if this might be good for both of them and hoping he would still get to be a part of the brothers lifes, of Dean's life.

Dean walked back out with a blanket and some matches. He grinned when he caught Cas staring at the building. "Can you believe it, it's almost finished. Just a few more weeks and it'll be ' bye bye bunker'." He grinned, as he lit some kindling. "I am going to miss that place, you know."

Castiel walked over. "You can always visit." He suggested as he watched Dean work.

"Yeah...But that's just not the same..." He said as he got up once one of the larger blocks caught fire. 

Castiel had to agree that it was different, visiting Castiel or living there with him. "You're right." He admitted, trying not to focus on how much it sounded like Dean wasn't planning on visiting him at all.

Apparently he was as skilled in suppressing emotions as he had hoped. He could feel Dean's eyes on him as he stared at the ground, willing himself not to cry. 

"Hey Cas, everything okay?" Dean's voice was so soft and careful, it was almost enough to bring tears to Cas's eyes. He just wanted a clear answer from the hunter, not all these mixed signals. He could feel Dean sitting down next to him, but he couldn't face him. Instead he looked over that beautiful garden Dean had made. 

"It just takes some time getting used to this all." 

"You don't like it?"

"No, I do. It's amazing." Castiel assured him. Why was he being this upset. It wasn't fair to Dean who had worked so hard and seemed so proud. After a small pause, Castiel added "It's really a family home.". That's what this was all about after all.

Dean put an arm over the back of the bench behind Cas, and it almost felt like he put an arm around him. Castiel didn't know what to think about it, but when Dean spoke he was reminded that all hope was futile. "Yeah. That's exactly what I want this to be." Dean agreed. "That's why I wanted to leave the bunker in the first place."

Castiel nodded silently. If he already knew, why did it still sting this much. He focussed on the fire that was growing as he tried to remind himself that it was foolish to even think any part of this was for Cas, this was for Dean's future family, nothing else.

Dean asked about heaven and Castiel told him that Jack had asked Bobby for help. Dean seemed to be reassured by it as much as Cas had. Dean listen to the stories with a gentle smile on his face. After the sun set the temperature lowered quickly. It did give a new dimension to the garden. 

Lights came on when it got dark. They illuminated the flowers beautifully. Castiel looked at Dean, it really was amazing to see what he had done. "You did all of this in the short time I was gone?" He asked impressed. Dean nodded, moving a little closer. Castiel thought he had learned a lot about interpreting humans, especially Dean, during his last twelve years on earth. But now he was at a loss. 

"It felt like a long while." Dean answered softly. "I'm glad your back." 

When Dean rested his head on Castiel's shoulder, Castiel instinctively put his arm around Dean. He looked at the other from the corner of his eyes, wishing he knew what all of this meant. Why was he being so intimate, in a way he never had been before, right before leaving Cas. 

The longer they stayed like that, the more Cas felt like he had to ask. When he looked at Dean again his eyes were closed and his chest was moving gently up and down with every breath. It could wait until the morning, or he could just blame Dean's actions on him being tired, and probably lonely after nearly three weeks on his own. He let the hunter sleep for now, watching over him as he did. Watching over Dean was as close as he could get to sleep. It was relaxing and it gave him time to empty his mind.

It was morning when the sunlight woke Dean up. He moved away to yawn and Castiel already missed having him close. The hunter didn't seem to mind the fact that Castiel had been looking over him. If anything, he seemed happy. "Sorry... I must have been more tired than I thought. You should have woken me up." Castiel couldn't help but notice the pink tint on Dean's cheeks as he looked into the hunters eyes. Dean looked right back at him, with a soft of unexpected warmth in his expression. "Did you just stay in one position all night?"

Castiel nodded. "I didn't want to wake you up. You seemed to need the sleep, and you know I don't mind watching over you."

"Thank you." Castiel hadn't expected that respons. The hunter had been vocal about not wanting that in the past, but they had grown closer in the years since. Both in a different way, but Dean did trust Castiel more and it showed. Maybe this was prove that, despite getting his own place, Dean still wanted to be in Cas's life. 

After that last visit, Castiel needed to go up to heaven a lot less. He enjoyed the painting and decorating stage they were in now a lot. Dean seemed to think all colors with vaguely similar hues looked the same, so he had put Cas in charge of deciding on colors. When they were working on the upstairs, Cas and Eileen did the guest room while Sam and Dean worked on the master bedroom.

After Eileen and Cas were all set up, happily chatting about what Eileen was getting Sam for his birthday, Sam walked into the room. "Hey Cas, which of these were meant for the bedroom?" 

"The one on the right." Castiel answered, looking at the two buckets of paint the other held. 

"Thanks." Sam seemed to hesitate, like he wanted to say more. He made half a turn to leave, then turned again to hug Cas before awkwardly pulling away and walking out of the room again. 

By the time the house was finished, it was half a year later. Heaven was done and Dean was moving out. Castiel wasn't sure how he was going to spend his days, he supposed he was going to spend a lot of time with Jack. Now that the major problems were handled, being in heaven was no longer a burden on Cas's grace. It also meant Jack was able to take a small break from the place, and Cas knew exactly what Jack's first outing on earth would be.

When they appareard in Dean's new home, Castiel mimicked how Dean had surprised him. He stood behind Dean, covering Dean's eyes with his hands. 

Dean seemed to catch on immeaditly. "You got a surprise?" He asked with an amused chuckle.

"Guess who."

"I know it's you Cas..."

"Of course you do, I've been talking." Castiel pointed out, wondering why Dean even brought that up. "I mean, guess who is with me as a surprise."

"That's not really how that w-" Dean stopped mid sentence when he seemed to piece it together. "Jack?" 

When Castiel removed the hands, Dean practically leaped forward to embrace their son, taking a good look at him afterwards. He took his time, just taking in that Jack was there and he was okay. When Dean seemed secure in that knowledge, he grinned widely. "Oh I want to show you around." He turned to look at Cas. "Let's give him the tour."

They showed Jack the whole house. Dean talked about how Cas had picked the colors and most of the furniture and Cas talked about how Dean had laid the floors and fixed the roofs. About half hour passed like nothing until the doorbell rang. "That's Sam and Eileen. Sam must be so excited to see you." Dean told Jack.

Castiel had asked Jack to come by on this day specificly, because this was the day Dean would move in. He had hosted a little get together, and Castiel wanted to make it extra special.

Sam and Eileen were excited to see Jack as well, both pulling them into hugs. When they all had a chance to catch up a little, Dean invited them to come to the garden so he could fire up the barbeque.

The night flew by in a haze of stories and laughter. Castiel cherished moments like this. He knew they were in short supply. He barely noticed the time until Sam and Eileen announced they were going to leave. Jack got up as well. Although he could now afford to leave heaven every now and again, he still needed to be up there a lot, so the moments had to be brief. Everyone hugged eachother goodbye and soon it was only Cas and Dean left. 

Castiel looked the house over. It was weird to think Dean wouldn't go home with him. "I guess I'll be heading back to the bunker."

Dean looked unsure. "Did you forget something?"

Castiel bit his lip. Was dean really saying what he thought he meant. Of course Castiel hadn't forgotten he wasn't a man of letters, that he had no rigth to live in the bunker now that neither of the brothers were with him. He had hoped that after all this time, Dean wouldn't mind. Apparently he did. "I know I'm not a man of letters, Dean." He admitted, unable to keep the emotion out of his voice. "But it's been my home for so long, you can't just expect me to leave completely..."

"You're home sick?" Dean's question threw him off, wondering what he meant by it. "So what's your plan then, live here during the day and go back to the bunker at night?" 

Castiel's mouth fell open. "You mean, live here as in; live here together?" 

"Yeah... What did you think this was for? I'm not going to flip it, if it was all for money, I've got a few credit cards I can misuse more easily." Dean seemed more than a bit annoyed at Cas for his confusion, but Castiel still couldn't comprihend what he meant.

"I thought this was going to be the house for you and maybe someday a partner." Castiel admitted. Dean had never said anything about Castiel moving in, and cas still assumed Dean was going to go for an american pie family life, not to spend his whole life with a friend.

Dean's eyes flew open, his shock almost masking the hurt in his eyes. "Maybe someday? Listen Cas, am I missing something here?"

Castiel spoke softly as he allowed back some of that hope he had been trying to surpress. "Am I?"

"Well one of us is."

"Just to be sure, You want me to move in with you?" Castiel asked again. 

"Yeah, it's hardly too early for that." Dean shrugged. "We've been living together since long before this thing started."

"This thing?" Cas repeated as he played back his memories, trying to see what he had missed. 

"Yeah, you know... This thing." Dean motioned between them. "You, me... That whole thing you confession speech... Those uh.... Those things I prayed to you..." 

Castiel could see the flush in Dean's cheek, the way he avoided Castiel's eyes. Castiel swallowed. Maybe Dean had responded, but Cas just hadn't heard.   
Dean looked up at him, scared and hurt. Castiel felt awful. He wasn't sure how to address it. "I haven't heard any prayers in months. From no one. With everything that happened in heaven some things got lost. Jack and I have been working to fix it, but it's not been a top priority."

"You haven't heard..." 

So Dean had prayed to him. Dean tried to speak again, but he seemed unable to express himself.

"What did you pray to me." Castiel asked in a soft voice.

"Nothing apparently...."

"Dean." He stepped closer, hoping to show Dean it was okay, that he was there. He put a head on Dean's cheek to try and get him to look at the angel. 

"Just, you know... That I felt the same." Castiel looked at him, trying to understand. How could Dean hide that in prayer. He wish he had known. "And like, I don't know man...." Dean looked away again, moving out of Cas's touch. "I thought you meant the thing you told me in a different way. I messed up okay. I told you I wanted to get a house for us, and then we passed this and you told me to bring out an offer..."

"You...." Castiel was at a loss for words. He looked at the house briefly before finding Dean's eyes again. He looked so vunrable. "I didn't realize it was for both of us. You seemed so excited when we passed here, I wanted to be excited for you. I mean, when you didn't bring it up again, I figured you just didn't feel the way I did. I thought I had been clear." Apparently he had been at first. But it seemed like he took that certainty away. "I love you, I want a life you. I want to watch you grow old and spend an eternity with you in heaven afterwards." He made sure to say it in the plainest terms possible, so there was no posibility for Dean to misunderstand or doubt the meaning behind his words.

Dean's eyes filled with tears. "You mean all this time, you thought I just hadn't answered, hadn't even responded to what you told me, that you love me." He said, the crack in his voice as he repeated the words cut through Castiel. 

"I thought moving out was your response. That was all that changed." Cas admitted.

Dean looked at him bewildered again. "What do you mean that was all. I... Okay look, I'm not good at talking about this sort of stuff, that's why I kept it to prayer, but everything has changed. The touches...." Castiel was still replaying the last few months in his mind. They had been closer, but nothing that would be clasified as romantic as far as Castiel was aware. Except maybe that one night under the stars.

"But, we've always been close like that. It's not like you ever tried to kiss me or hold my hand." Castiel argued. He knew those touches weren't always nessecary for romance, but he had longed to feel what it would be like. And he knew Dean often displayed affection in those ways. 

"I didn't know if you were into that stuff dude. I mean, you're still an angel. The only times I've ever seen you do any of that was a sort of performance or something." Dean was right about that, but that was because he had never cared for anyone like he had cared for Dean. Dean swallowed hard, grabbing Castiel's attention again. He seemed to struggle with the word, and Castiel realized why Dean had only talked about this in prayer. "And like I said... Like I tried to tell you before, I'm fine with not having that if it ain't a thing for you. I mean, I want that, but... you know. It's about you, having you close." Dean took a step closer. Castiel could feel a happy warmth blooming inside as Dean took his hand. "I love you too, Cas."

Castiel closed his eyes as he leaned in. His lips on fire as he kissed Dean's lips. Dean pulled him in closer and he knew now they had both wanted this for so long. When they parted, Dean smiled at him with that nervous smile Castiel loved.

"Since we're being honest... I really liked sleeping with you close. I get that it might be boring or something, but would you mind going to bed with me every now and again. You can leave when I sleep, I'm not expecting you to just lay there all night, but I don't know."

Castiel stopped his ramble by pressing his lips against Dean again, he could feel the tension leaving the other. 

"I'd love too spend every night with you if you'd let me." 


End file.
